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| so i've been sort of thinking about this for a while. it was not an easy decision. i have tried to work things out with you. we did make a sort of contract, not a covenant, so i think i am justified in leaving. but i will tell you why. i owe you that much.
i have a great network of friends through you...in fact i attribute much of my initial getting-to-know of my now wife through you. however, many of my friends have also left you for reasons stated and unstated. i know you'll probably be fine...you at least seem that way when i visit your home.
it's true, i have found another.
she gives me what i have been unable to find with you. (please forgive the ross gellar nature of this)
- she helps me find things better (i.e. better search engine for my own entries)
- she is a little less scatterbrained (i.e. all the ads and distracting inconsistent layouts and menus)
- she seems to show me more about her (i.e. all sorts of stats and info. about the blog)
- she is more open to change (i.e. i can fidget with a lot more content and more clear widgets)
- she remembers things that are important to me (i.e. there are actually places for important links as well as pages i can add with important entries, thoughts to reference)
once again i'm sorry. i will miss the memories and friends we shared.
sincerely,
treevalley
p.s. i'm open to the possibility of returning to you but you've got to get some of your stuff together.
p.p.s. i've also found a way to get reacquainted with all of our friends (who still write in more than just little sentences or "tweets", as people like to call them, and actually write paragraphs...gasp!) even from different circles all in one place
TRANSLATION OF ALL OF THIS:
i'm moving my blogging to a new site on wordpress.com. come visit and drop a line...or more. if you still want to keep up with my blogs you can either add the new site to your google reader OR you can just subscribe to my new site.
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| "You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals / So let's do it like they do on the discovery channel" - Bloodhound Gang
really, we ain't nothing but mammals? this lyric and this general notion that we're nothing more than advanced mammals has bothered me for some time now. then i've also been watching "terminator: the sarah connor chronicles" (yes, i have some time on my hands...hahah) and its made me think about what makes us different from machines, especially as technology is advancing at such a rapid rate.
somehow i feel we have begun to loose sight of our humanity in all this mess. ok then, if we're more than all of this (i.e mammals, machines), then what are we exactly? what does make us different from animals/machines? what makes us human? why should i even care?
God said that He made us in His own image. what does that even mean? He seemed to communicate that in everything that began to exist, humankind was unique in that it shared something in common with God that nothing else does. maybe by finding how we, as humankind, are different from other things, this may give us more insight into the nature of God.
so i've been comparing things in my mind and considering diagrams (yes, im a nerd) to help me "see" relationships between them more clearly. not that any of this is in any way exhaustive or complete...its actually just something to get started. so maybe you can join in and share your observations/insights too.
1) the first sort of relationship-comparison I was envisioning was this.
WHAT MAKES US HUMAN?: A VENN DIAGRAM 
REFLECTION:
this way of thinking assumes that there are things that make us completely unique in some ways, completely similar in other ways, and, when you throw in other elements, only somewhat similar. this one was the hardest to conceive, especially trying to figure out what animals have that we don't have, beyond physical differences. basically, what i see here is that
A) God has made things uniquely
B) What makes us different from animals is
- our soul (the thing that as c.s. lewis' says is the "'consciousness' standing above the sensations and organizing them into an 'experience'"),
- our conscience (that thing that helps us consider if something is right or wrong, good or evil),
- our self-control (the thing that enables us to hold back our desires or inclinations, even for a greater good), and
- our potential ability through God to love unconditionally (to seek the better of another, even if this person/thing treats you badly or is somehow otherwise unlovely)
C) With great power comes great responsibility
God has given us these great aspects of Himself but he has also given us choice (or at least what looks like it) in how and to what end we use them. we have the potential to do and enjoy real good through our lives or to do and enjoy real evil through our lives. i mean just as animals can't do some of the good stuff we can do (delighting in lifting up others), animals aren't cruel like humankind either (delighting in harming others).
2) then i was thinking maybe our relationship with animals is a little more like this,
WHAT MAKES US HUMAN?: A STACKED VENN DIAGRAM
REFLECTION:
this way of thinking assumes that there is a certain order or hierarchy where every living thing in creation is in decreasing degrees similar to God. in some ways this may be true but i realize in other ways it is not so true as certain things may not be smarter than humans but can be much stronger (elephants), quicker (cheetahs), or just survive differently (fish) than humans. basically this diagram helps me realize that
A) God has made things with varying order and degree
B) it seems there are qualities that are more honorable than others (even though all qualities are meaningful) for God to set humans apart as unique and entrusted with the care of the world (with soul, conscience, self-control, and love guiding humankind's power).
3) then again what happens when we compare ourselves to what we create / imagine?
WHAT MAKES US HUMAN (the sci-fi version)?: A LINEAR VENN DIAGRAM
REFLECTION:
this way of thinking assumes that although God created man he didn't directly create cyborgs or A.I. so cyborgs and God are not directly related to each other. the cyborg, at least in fiction that i've read/seen, imagines what if we created a being that could function physically and intelligently like a human? what we almost always imagine is that these artificial intelligent beings would be devoid of emotion (which even animals seem to have) and definitely a sense of right/wrong. I don't include unconditional love in the diagram because cyborgs don't even have love or affection (for things lovely or unlovely); they simply have function. maybe we imagine this because
A) people can't conceive of how we would program something such as emotion or conscience OR
B) people sometimes see emotions and abstract questions (beyond things we can perceive through the senses) as something either irrelevant or potential risks in life. this certainly seems the bent of the terminator series that imagines a future where we are looking for more efficient ways of being, and the beings we create find humankind and these "excess" qualities as unnecessary.
C) therefore, somehow, emotions and moral / spiritual qualities are essential for humankind, because the alternative, although possibly more efficient, would make life ultimately meaningless and cold.
SO WHAT MAKES US HUMAN?
well, it depends how you think about it and what you're using to compare us to. if i look at what was common to all 3 ways of looking at it, i would say.
1. the soul: it enables us to not only experience life as a succession of moments but to reflect upon life
2. the conscience: it enable us to not only reflect upon life but to evaluate life with notions of what is good and what is not good for life
3. the connection to unconditional love: it enables us, when we experience God's unconditional love, to not just know what is good, but to do what is good; even freeing us from thinking only about ourselves.
" Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.'" - the Book of Genesis, chapter 1, verse 26
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| class of 2013 great lines (cuz i know we are some lazy readers):
Prose Without love everything seems unimportant…I think that love is used too much without meaning. People say it just to say it. They know the power of the word, but they don’t mean it – Jose D. That night I couldn’t sleep. It was like I could see him in every corner that I glanced at. I guess that’s what they meant when they said don’t stare at something too long. But I said to myself, if its him, he wouldn’t do anything to scare me. If anything, he would be there to protect me. So I closed my eyes and when I did, all of my problems, pain, and sadness scurried away from me. It was like I had no feelings, I was empty. It felt like, I had my body, but he had all of my inside. – Kayla
As I was going through the tunnel I saw a small cargo, sort of like a station. So as we were in line I thought to myself “be a chicken or take it like a man” as they grabbed me so I wouldn’t leave. I boarded the rollercoaster I sat next to the girl I knew she was there to support me. As the roller coaster went “click, click, click, FOOM!” I screamed from the top of my lungs. Up and down I went until it came to an end. I felt dizzy, proud, and a man. - Miguel I could hear the waves rolling, as I’m still under water. When I looked up I could see the sun. It looked beautiful because of the way the water made it look. – Jennifer I remember the people that loved her calling her to come back. I remember that the candles were burning, the heavy air and the unshakable feeling that she will not come back. As hard as I wished I knew that she gone. The only thing I could do is that I have to live by the things that she taught me. – Manuel Love is when you trust somebody, never lie to that person, stay up and talk on the phone even though you sleepy – Ty I was thinking “Oh my God, I’m going to be a mom!” To me it was a blessing but to others its not. Some girls consider abortion but the time I found out I was pregnant that word wasn’t going through my head in anytime - Claudia Then they raised my cousin in the air. I saw my mom throwing herself in the ground and screaming. We were all really shocked and destroyed. I felt a lot of things going on inside me. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t, I thought that everything was just a nightmare that I would soon wake up from. I thought that if I closed my eyes everything was going to be okay. I kept everything I felt and was thinking to myself. – Nelida I began to cry and took a picture of my dad and ran outside. I cried and cried so much that day but never lost faith that he would come home and hug me and say to me everything is alright, “I am here now it was all a misunderstanding.” – Estefania
Poetry I follow you wherever you go. I feel what the eyes cannot see and know what the mind cannot understand. I am the heart - Charlie Sadness is a dark cold shadow it follows you everywhere you go Sadness is a closed door never opens up So many people use my name in vain. - Ladera
School, school is torture but without the cages. You get tortured with these two they call math and English. There is no leaving campus or no fun. I love school. – Devonte
Life without you is like a year without summer – Diana R.
I’m the happiness of others, I sometimes walk right in front of you. I am love. – Ana M Can you stay like a stain on my shirt? – Justin
Life is like a difficult math problem you can’t solve on your own. – Virginia
She is a star lighting me through the dark She is a heart always inside and helping me stay alive and not in danger. - Juvencio
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| The 2nd year of AL2 has come to a close...here are some of my favorite lines from this year's 9th graders: http://mrkitani.tumblr.com/ | | |
| wow, once again i think God is trying to get my attention.
this is how i know God is real.
so many times when God is trying to get my attention, the way he gets me to notice is when i begin to hear the same thing from multiple sources, sources that did not know what I was thinking or what i had heard previously.
the first time i clearly recognized that this was beginning to be a pattern of how God was moving, was in college. i was in, i believe my 4th year of college. i was pretty heavily involved in a campus ministry at ucla. God was really opening my eyes to the fact that i was beginning to live in a xian bubble not reaching out to non-xians. it was the begining of the year when lots of other campus ministries were recruiting new members. i just started talking with some people from the different ministries, asking them what they felt God was speaking to them. i talked with somebody from Navigators and they said they felt God was challenging them that year to evangelize...that they were in a safe xian bubble. I talked with somebody at Grace on Campus...the xian bubble. Then a leader from Oikos...same thing. Okay. I was hearing the same thing from different people who had not even consulted each other. That year God really, rocked my world in terms of ministry to non-believers. I met someone who randomly was invited to my church by meeting a church member in the grocery store. Turns out he was living in the apartment complex right next to mine. I met another person randomly in a computer lab as we were working on the same project. Turned out he lived in the apartment complex right behind me. That year there was at least one person from one of the campus ministries at ucla at the bear at noon every day of the week, ready to share the gospel with complete strangers. different ministries were hooking up to work together for the same purpose of witnessing to the lost. now, not to be too cynical, but when xians from different ministries/churches actually put aside their differences and work together for the same purpose...that is some major God level stuff.
now, while its still fresh in my mind i gotta record what God has been speaking to me in the past couple weeks, really nailing it today. I have been, for the past couple weeks been hemming and hawing about direction for the future. I've been asking people to pray for me about getting some clarity from God on the issue. but to be honest, i havent really been spending any real time being still enough to listen...watching internet tv and every other thing instead. i've also sort of been complaining that im not really hearing anything really clear from God. man, i am such a fool. God is speaking all the time. it's just i havent really been paying attention.
- i've been reading through the book of matthew and im currently in chapter 26. a woman comes to Jesus, and pours out all this expensive perfume on Jesus. the disciples are all in a hissy fit because they think the money could have been spent better. this is also the chapter that Judas, the treasurer of the group of disciples, decides to go to the priests to betray Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. okay, i've read about that before.
- one evening about a week ago i was listening to a podcast of one of my current favorite preachers, Rankin Wilborne of Pacific Crossroads church, and the topic was money. It was a pretty eye-opening message about how we are so caught up in money we don't even know it...how none of us think we have enough of it, yet most of us think we don't really have a problem with it. Okay, good message. moving on.
- the bible passage in our sunday school curriculum that week, which i had to teach, turned out to be about our tendency to get so caught up in money, we get side tracked from the things of God.
- my wife and i have dinner with a friend, who is going through some tough times. he mentions how God has been convicting him...about his use of money. how he also had been listening to some messages by Rankin Wilborne on money. my friend didn't think he was a wasteful person but he wasnt necessarily putting his money toward God's work. ok, God I'm starting to get a theme here.
- yesterday morning, i was chatting with a leader at church. i asked him about his prayer requests...and what did he offer up as request? a disagreement...about money. i brought up what God had been speaking to me about the topic.
- yesterday evening, i decided to listen to the next message in the series about money on my ipod. the topic was specifically focusing on the tithe. when i got home, i got out my check book and wrote out a couple checks for some donations that i had commited to that i have been lagging in.
- today, the pastor that uses my class to facilitate bible studies on monday after school was just doing his thing, as always (and its a great work God is doing through him). i just started talking with him a little. he calls me out and asks about where im at in terms of my leadership. i don't really know, and say some thoughts on my mind. then what does he bring up? yup, you guessed it...money. specifically, about tithing...beyond my comfort zone. he jumps straight to if i've been pursuing God about my calling. I ask him about what to do if i can't seem to hear him clearly and don't know where he is leading. he mentions the importance of fasting, that whatever i hear i need to be ready to obey, and that i need to trust God...with His money.
now i dunno exactly how God is leading me right now and how this is all going to play itself out...but right now, i think it has something to do with money.
this is how i know God is real.
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